"Accolades For Valor" by Matthew Johnson (1993): "She goes through life, gliding, a benevolent seer/ Stopping constantly to aid those in need, those not even dear/ I, an individual, swept up in the storm/ Of a woman, who, in search of herself, defies the norm/ As I, an outcast, fighting myself, yet daring to believe/ That if I ask her aid and succor (and possibly love) she won’t leave/ Giving her heart, mind and soul to every known cause/ Causing me to look about my selfish malestrom, and in introspection give pause/ For all her words, she won’t write about me, does she fail to perceive/ What the object knows to be true and what make believe—/ Words rarely present, presence much more of one/ Is to wish for more as good as wishing for the sun?/ Energy is precious, as I know well to be true/ And I am curious to know, Lorraine, what I can ask of you/ Names are important, they make us who we are/ Much more important than people give credit, by far/ The masses may cry “Lori!” and let them do so!/ For the numbers who call that cannot understand/ They will never know the Lorraine inside, the one crying to live/ Will be forever frustrated by those whose minds are like a sieve/ There may be those who rob her of her world, let them scratch the skin/ They are as pinpricks to the steel within/ These accolades are not exaggeration, not pretentious/ I Just want you to know that there is at least one who is conscious/ That the world is a better place for the life of a woman named Lorraine."

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

My Light

Do you know
That you’re my light?













Darkness has been known to reign,
but it’s your shine that lights the way.

We have come so very far,
and you have proven to be a star.

Hurt besieged me long ago,
Weighed down by fierce unrest in tow.
My Arizona transition seemed
it may have been better if left a dream.

At first, we were bogged down
by armloads of your baggage,
but once we ditched the encumbrances,
no longer could they ravage.

We started to pave a road to prosperity
that would someday both of us please,
but were squelched by what first seemed a miracle,
yet blindly detoured us with ease.

Words can’t even describe the feelings
that we were dealt with the next hand.
Only those in the exact same shoes
could possibly understand.

Suddenly, I was caring for a sick baby,
born four full months before his time;
The harrowing reality of what would truly be
gradually rearing its head to lay down the line;

We had to learn to adapt to this new world.
For you, it took much time;
Energy and strength for both of us
is what I, myself, had to find.

As I learned to accept my new role,
metamorphosis met evolution.
We were now the parents of a disabled child.
There would never be easy solutions.

His care—so incredibly involved,
Down to every detail;
Physically; emotionally; mentally; spiritually;
financially; medically; familial;

The only common bond in it all—
forever.

Frightening; agonizing; despairing; poignant;
all accompanied by devotion to an innocent soul
who I tried day and night to comfort, putting those feelings on hold;
these simultaneous exhaustions didn’t take long to bestow their toll.

I’m not quite sure when you joined the game,
but I have to tell you that you’ve been amazing.
Every ounce of early heartache is now naught—
I simply cannot do enough praising.

There is NO way I could do this with anyone else.
You are incredible. You are surely one-of-a-kind.
We were truly meant to be a team,
brought together through space and time.

I may still complain about this or that.
I am sorry. It’s part of me; part of the game,
but you are everything I could possibly ask for,
and you deserve optimum acclaim.

Thank you,
wonderful husband.
Thank you,
extraordinary father.
Thank you,
for lighting my way.


November 1, 2005