"Accolades For Valor" by Matthew Johnson (1993): "She goes through life, gliding, a benevolent seer/ Stopping constantly to aid those in need, those not even dear/ I, an individual, swept up in the storm/ Of a woman, who, in search of herself, defies the norm/ As I, an outcast, fighting myself, yet daring to believe/ That if I ask her aid and succor (and possibly love) she won’t leave/ Giving her heart, mind and soul to every known cause/ Causing me to look about my selfish malestrom, and in introspection give pause/ For all her words, she won’t write about me, does she fail to perceive/ What the object knows to be true and what make believe—/ Words rarely present, presence much more of one/ Is to wish for more as good as wishing for the sun?/ Energy is precious, as I know well to be true/ And I am curious to know, Lorraine, what I can ask of you/ Names are important, they make us who we are/ Much more important than people give credit, by far/ The masses may cry “Lori!” and let them do so!/ For the numbers who call that cannot understand/ They will never know the Lorraine inside, the one crying to live/ Will be forever frustrated by those whose minds are like a sieve/ There may be those who rob her of her world, let them scratch the skin/ They are as pinpricks to the steel within/ These accolades are not exaggeration, not pretentious/ I Just want you to know that there is at least one who is conscious/ That the world is a better place for the life of a woman named Lorraine."

Sunday, November 22, 1998

Unaffected

I don't know if it's me--
queen of drama--
or it's him--
childish and immature.

Flashbacks from a world I have no patience for;
tired of living for him;
NOTHING good enough;
NEVER happy;

At the same time,
appreciative of his good qualities;
not wanting to take them for granted;

FUCKED IN THE HEAD!

So, do I pretend I'm not affected?
It doesn't bother me?
Live on stage as I have before?

IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT WITH HIM.

I met him--
so adult and mature;
strong and independent;
someone who would care for me

November 22, 1998

posted by Lorraine Courigan at 7:17 PM 0 comments