Missing In Action

You never could talk to me;
tell me what you wanted or what you don't.
You could never help get things done
or stand up for me when others won't,

but you're such a special part of my world;
just seeing your face would brighten my day.
It never mattered what you were doing,
and I could always voice what I needed to say.

I loved having to look out for you;
even to provide when I'd nothing to give;
making sure others respect your place in my life.
You're love was reason enough to live,

and when everything in my life decayed,
I felt I'd get through each day
with you by my side to cry to,
and your welfare to see to.

I can't believe this is happening.
Talk about losing it all!
In my omnious sky,
you were the one twinkling star!

I pray you're okay;
that you make it through each day.
I've deprived you from a life outside.
How can you ever survive?

I've called your name so many times,
praying you will appear.
Just one 'meow'
is all I need to hear,
my little orange angel.

June 29, 1997

Deep Enough

It's worse to me than if I despised you;
worse than if anger was all I knew;
deeper pain than continuous hurt;
of all the feelings, this is the worst;
I'm completely numb.

You're around and I feel nothing at all;
no love; no hurt; no desire; my wall;
I'm completely numb.

Please touch me deep enough so I can feel.
Reach through my skin, my soul to heal.
Please pierce through this numbness great.
Please, before it's too late.

June 18, 1997

Little Lie

My feeble heart can take many things;
dictated love and pulling of my strings.
Although I'm overly sensitive, it's true,
I could take the emotional turmoil from you.

For once, I praised that you could let it go
after it happened. Even though,
you might still be angry; I might still be hurt;
we could love again that day; We'd just be alert.

Once, that was enough to make it alright,
no matter how I struggled through the night,

but when you come to me with a lie,
no matter how ingsignificant in size,
how can I respect you? How can I feel love
when your respect for me is a lack thereof!

What I've gone through to be sincere and true,
no matter how it might have left me blue!

Once you come to me with a lie,
no matter how insignificant in size,
you construct a ten foot wall
that makes it hard for me to love you at all.

Then, ice the cake with cold behavior.
I'm on my knees, begging for savior.

Don't ask me why I don't feel like you care.
Don't keep me around if you don't want me there.
You're feeding the distance. You're widening the gap.
My heart's crumbled pieces gather in my lap.

June 18, 1997