The Good Wife's Role?

Sometimes, I feel like such a dud.
Everyone wants to know what's up.
That is--if they even notice I'm gone!
Wouldn't hold my breath that long!

Out of place; trying hard;
sacrificing; standing guard;
covering up another's tracks;
going behind authority's back;
telling lies I've never told;
suddenly, I feel so old.

Endowing liberty to mi amor;
keeping open his every door,
but hurt to be pushed aside;
longing to be able to rely;

hurt to feel like a stuffed bear;
take me out when no one's there.
Make me look pretty on the shelf,
but forget about me when there's anyone else.

Will the day come? I've waited so long.
Will he realize who's been there all along?

December 31, 1995

Feeling Surreal

Butterfly wings;
splintered things;
Spyro-gyra; bright-eyed pyro;
colors; lines and cats on fire;
spinning swirls; dynamic paisleys;
pulsating pearls; melting daisies;
flickering lights; chiming clocks;
blackened whites; spherical blocks;
slinky coils; bubbling fizz;
steamy oils; Cheez Whiz;
ultra-violet; wickedly flourescent;
acid test-pilot in blacklight presence;
rubber cotton; electric liquid;
Incense And Peppermint; flaming wickhead;

These things run rampant in my head.
These things which my brain has bred.

*written with Dave Kent*
December 27, 1995

Already Dirty Mirrors

I Thought this new start would clear the slate.
I knew it was time to renovate.
My soul was screaming for a cleansing;
calling for an inner peace dispensing;
wanting to remove the stains;
the scars from the
wounding rains
echoing pains
deep disdains

(chorus:)
I was looking for an image of purity,
radiating through silver glass at me,
but my poisoned reflection mocks;
the mirror's already dirty

I felt so filthy,
like all my flaws were seething through;
transparent but dusty;
scared of nature's brew.
I thought I'd finally broken free;
shed myself a brand new me.
Ready to see a friendly face
in myself, but it's too fucking late.

(repeat chorus 2x)

Wipe well with dry cloth,
but don't expect much to come off
Grim picture embedded in
corrupted soul with a sinister grin

(repeat chorus 2x)

December 15, 1995

Character Analysis

So cute;
so different;
entertaining;
never a dull moment;
irritating but loveable;
desirable;
childlike but insistently
strong and independent;
amusing;
forgetful;
smart but not
intellectually motivated;
good with hands;
skilled;
makes me laugh

December 11, 1995