"Accolades For Valor" by Matthew Johnson (1993): "She goes through life, gliding, a benevolent seer/ Stopping constantly to aid those in need, those not even dear/ I, an individual, swept up in the storm/ Of a woman, who, in search of herself, defies the norm/ As I, an outcast, fighting myself, yet daring to believe/ That if I ask her aid and succor (and possibly love) she won’t leave/ Giving her heart, mind and soul to every known cause/ Causing me to look about my selfish malestrom, and in introspection give pause/ For all her words, she won’t write about me, does she fail to perceive/ What the object knows to be true and what make believe—/ Words rarely present, presence much more of one/ Is to wish for more as good as wishing for the sun?/ Energy is precious, as I know well to be true/ And I am curious to know, Lorraine, what I can ask of you/ Names are important, they make us who we are/ Much more important than people give credit, by far/ The masses may cry “Lori!” and let them do so!/ For the numbers who call that cannot understand/ They will never know the Lorraine inside, the one crying to live/ Will be forever frustrated by those whose minds are like a sieve/ There may be those who rob her of her world, let them scratch the skin/ They are as pinpricks to the steel within/ These accolades are not exaggeration, not pretentious/ I Just want you to know that there is at least one who is conscious/ That the world is a better place for the life of a woman named Lorraine."

Thursday, February 28, 1991

How Do I Feel?

I don't know!
He makes me feel...
I just don't know!
Is this all real?
I simply don't know!
Will the happiness peel?
I really don't know!
Do I need to shield?
Woah! I don't know!
Am I buying a shpeel?
I don't know!
Am I on his reel?
I simply don't know!
My mouth craves this meal.
I know.

February 28, 1991

An Eternal Embrace

So many couples come together each day.
In the meantime, many slip away.
Special words spoken are supposed to be beautiful
when expressed in a way so utterly beautiful.

By the look in your eyes and the touch of your hand;
by the aura of your smile and your words so grand;
I thought you were different from the rest.
I thought for me you were the best.
I thought you believed in forever for us.
In you, I invested enormous trust.

(chorus:)
...And when I'm alone and dreams bring me your face,
I long to hold you in an eternal embrace.
Your delicate touch; your heart with mine;
How could such feelings fade through time?

If I had the guts, I'd plead you back.
If I had the chance, I'd probably attack.

When I see you, my soul deflates within me,
and I feel stranded in a waveless sea,
but all I can do is reminisce,
and add you to my heartbreak list,
and hope somehow you'll see the light.


If we could go back to the start,
would you have any change of heart?
Does it matter to you that I was flying high
and now I crawl beneath a deep gray sky?

Does it matter to you, I took your words for their meaning?
Would it matter to you if I lay dead or bleeding?
You said 'Forever.' There was 'no doubt in your mind.'
Did you speak those words just to be kind?

Can you simply say them to someone else?
Is it that easy to toss our love on the shelf?
I should move on as you have,
but this wound can't seem to find its salve.

(repeat chorus)

I can't be with someone else; replaying the game.
To me, it just doesn't feel the same.
I was in love with your strengths.
I was in love with your flaws.
When your love ran out, it left me in awe.

I keep hoping you'll say you were wrong,
but I am the one who is writing the song.
You'll find new love, and I hope you'll be happy,
but it will pain deep to see you just replace me.

February 8, 1991