Magic Carpet

I am so alone.

Scarlet spiral,
twirling in an eternity,
upon a carpet of indigo,
stop at my feet
and whisk me away.

Rescue me from these depths:
these decrepid cellars below and beneath happiness;
reeking of mildew and dripping with the pungent
leaks of faltering pipes;

The graying of this windowless room;
loneliness seeping in from the dingy corridors;
colorless rats creeping across the pavement,
moistened with dampened dirt and urin,
curdling between my toes;

The shackles on my feet;
the rags on my body;
the screams reverberating in the distance,
familiar to my ears,
for they come from my own mouth.

No signs of light;
no ray or beam in sight;

Where is my savior
to fly me away?

Scarlet spiral,
twirling in an eternity
upon a carpet of indigo..

July 20, 1994

The Second Stab

The second stab;
Oh! How it hurts!
It runs much deeper.
It cuts much worse.

The second stab;
It sheathes the skin;
prolongs the pain;
blood beads within.

Ask me to sacrifice
myself?

I wish...
I wish you'd just...
Why didn't you just...
Rape!!

Physical force
would be easier
than emotional,
when in actuality
the emotions
just aren't there,
and
when you deny me
those emotions
that are.

The second stab;
The internal wound;
know the bandages
can't work too soon.

July 16, 1994

Natural Prison

I am trapped within the confining walls of time--
the intangible bars;
the invisible shackles;
imprisonment.
Time
has the wrath of a great whie shark,
but the limbs of an ocopus--
seizing me;
gripping me,
by choice or not,
and carrying me through rough waters,
only to consume me
at my most vulnerable moment.

July 12, 1994

Matter Over Mind

Everything happens for a reason.
Although, it has been twice this season.
Now, I find, the harder I try
to put it way out of my mind,
the more I want it.

I realize the time's not right,
but then again it might
be the only time for magic.
Would it really be so tragic?

I don't think so.

July 10, 1994

Solo Flight

My heart charters new territory,
Since there's been you.
Things used to seem so vital.
I didn't have a clue.

You're a part of me internally.
The things that make me, me
are the things that you see;
the things you live for;
the things you endure.

Your support just blows my mind.
A life's partner's just so hard to find,
but you're real.
You, I feel;
both physically and emotionally.
You're so caring in your devotion to me.

Things I'd never do, but I long to--
I get that needed inspiration through you.
Your encouragement gives me that shove--
that one that lets me know it's love.

I am flying right now,
but you are my wings.
It's with you
the songbird sings.

When I land,
I plan
to take your hand;
make you understand
I love
our love.

July 6, 1994