"Accolades For Valor" by Matthew Johnson (1993): "She goes through life, gliding, a benevolent seer/ Stopping constantly to aid those in need, those not even dear/ I, an individual, swept up in the storm/ Of a woman, who, in search of herself, defies the norm/ As I, an outcast, fighting myself, yet daring to believe/ That if I ask her aid and succor (and possibly love) she won’t leave/ Giving her heart, mind and soul to every known cause/ Causing me to look about my selfish malestrom, and in introspection give pause/ For all her words, she won’t write about me, does she fail to perceive/ What the object knows to be true and what make believe—/ Words rarely present, presence much more of one/ Is to wish for more as good as wishing for the sun?/ Energy is precious, as I know well to be true/ And I am curious to know, Lorraine, what I can ask of you/ Names are important, they make us who we are/ Much more important than people give credit, by far/ The masses may cry “Lori!” and let them do so!/ For the numbers who call that cannot understand/ They will never know the Lorraine inside, the one crying to live/ Will be forever frustrated by those whose minds are like a sieve/ There may be those who rob her of her world, let them scratch the skin/ They are as pinpricks to the steel within/ These accolades are not exaggeration, not pretentious/ I Just want you to know that there is at least one who is conscious/ That the world is a better place for the life of a woman named Lorraine."

Friday, May 27, 1994

Tonight

Tonight,
I was thinking.
Tonight,
I was sinking
into the depths of my own world;
into the chaos of my own world.
At a loss for the words that I need to say;
Trapped by my wants and the games my mind plays;
wondering, can I ever make it all make sense?

Tonight,
I am hurting.
Tonight,
I am yearning.
Yearning to not hurt anymore;
Yearning to feel like I did before;
hoping and praying that I will find
that it is only in my mind,

but,

each day that goes by,
I can see it in your eyes,
cuz you can't face the day with a smile
anymore,

and our distance grows farther
and the devil's getting smarter,
and Shit! What's tearing us apart
is the fucking love in our hearts
fighting to escape.
Why can't we bring it together?

Tonight,
I was thinking.
Tonight,

I was sinking.
Won't you please throw me a line?
Won't you please give me a sign?
Tonight.


May 27, 1994

Sunday, May 22, 1994

Lost In The Woods

The moon hides her pale glow tonight.
Hence, the sky heaves muffled sight.
Branches of a frazzled brown
reach stooped over for the ground.

Stars twinkling in the sky
offer no help to human eye.
No noise but the crickets' song;
a vigorous gust of wind blows strong.

Somewhere, a babbling brook
nestles in some hidden nook.
My view has never been so faded.
Never have I been so jaded.

There is no path leading through the trees.
I'm so scared, I'm on my knees,
but if I were back on safe ground,
with flowery meadows and sun beaming down,

I couldn't be happy now that I've been in the woods.
Nothing can be as beautiful as this forest could.

May 22, 1994